6 to 18 Month Baby Sleep

Remember the early days when you could hand your baby over to pretty much anybody without her even batting an eye?

And guess what their most favourite object is? You! They now understand that when you leave the room, you are still there and this means you are not right there next to them. This can be especially troubling to babies that have no experience with other caregivers – not uncommon for an 8-month old.

“All this can suddenly change”

“Mom? Isn’t that that milk lady? Yeah I think she’s pretty swell, I guess.” In the first six months of development, babies definitely show preferences for familiar faces and smells, and can certainly be comforted in mom’s (and dad’s) embrace. But as soon as you leave the room they seem to forget that their favourite person isn’t close by. Out of sight, out of mind. 

All this can suddenly change somewhere between 8 and 12 months, when separation anxiety sets in. See, from about the fifth month on, babies start developing a skill called object permanence – they know that an object still exists even if they can’t see it. By approximately eight months most babies have mastered this skill. 

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety can creep up and hit like a ton of bricks, and feel very distressing to a new parent. Your previously happy-go-lucky baby is now clingy, fussy, and completely beside herself if passed off to a stranger (this can also be difficult for poor grandma who is so excited for hugs and snuggles only to get shunned and induce a meltdown). It can be a temporary thing or something that rears up multiple times throughout childhood. And all of this is completely normal. It signals that your developing child feels safe and secure in your arms. This is certainly a time to increase the snuggles and reassure your baby that you are there for them. Anxieties are best met with connection and comfort.  

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This initial phase of separation anxiety is usually temporary and should ease with the reassurance that, even when not in view, you will always return. But major leaps in development, environmental stressors, or new transitions can often trigger these anxieties to resurface – in the toddler and preschool years and maybe even beyond.

During these times of stress, go back to the basics, increase your responsiveness to your child, and use it as an opportunity to reinforce togetherness and connection.

As you’ve probably guessed, separation anxiety can wreak havoc on your day and nighttime sleep routines. In your baby’s eyes, alone is alone, whether in the comfort and familiarity of her own room or not. Forget about all those sleep-positive associations you’ve spent months establishing, now baby just wants you.

She cries out every time she wakes and you may spend the next 20 minutes using every trick in the book to get her back to her mattress, only to have her wake as you creep, ninja-style out of her room. 

Confession here, I used to crawl on the floor to my son’s door so he couldn’t see me leaving and then wait for a car to drive by to dull out the sound of me opening it (don’t make my mistake….get yourself a sound machine!).

It is completely natural to revert back to the early habits and associations (feeding, rocking, shhhing with every waking) in an attempt to comfort your little through this transition. However, due to other developmental milestones, including a heightened awareness of her surroundings and the ability to sit and stand up, these techniques can prove to be stimulating to baby instead of calming.

And that means that at the same time as reinforcing sleep crutches that may be difficult to maintain long-term, they are also having the opposite effect to what is desired. Even night feeds may no longer lull your baby back to sleep. And it’s worth keeping in mind that it is unlikely your baby has suddenly become a lot hungrier at night, particularly with the introduction of solids – offering additional feeds is most likely out of comfort, not nutritional necessity.

This is why I advocate for instilling positive sleep habits early. Before object permanence sets in, your baby doesn’t fully grasp that you are not there with her when she can’t see you.

Helping your baby create a positive association with bedtime and sleep at this early stage, and learn how to sleep independently, can make this transition so much easier because you have well ingrained skills to fall back on. 

But fear not if you feel you missed the boat on this early reinforcement. It’s never too late to alter sleep habits. Even as adults, we may recognize the need to make a change to our sleep routine – like keeping electronics out of our sleeping space. Perhaps go back to making her favourite comfort item smell like you.

Find ways to let her know that you have not vanished just because you left the room. Offering a song or the sound of your voice through the doorway or monitor can be a great calming mechanism. In fact, it was at this time in my babies’ lives that I really felt our attachment grow, as they became confident in the notion that being alone did not mean that I was not nearby.

The importance of alignment.

You might be wondering, why the strict schedule?? If I had to pick a period that I felt equally restricted and relieved at the same time, it would be the 6 to 18 month baby phase. This is a time wrought with nap transitions, developmental milestones, and increasing independence, all of which can be associated with troubled sleep. At the same time, sleep architecture has matured making it more difficult for baby to “catch up” on lost sleep on a whim. If you begin to feel like a prisoner in your house during this time, you are not alone. 

But sleep routines can also become deeply ingrained now, helping your baby ease into the sleep he needs day to day. If you can focus on establishing a strong, predictable, sleep-positive schedule now, you will very likely experience confidence and flexibility in your routine before this stage is out.

“This schedule stuff is far too restrictive.” Trust me, I know how you feel if you are longing to break the confines of a prescriptive sleep schedule. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and having had two summer babies, both of my kids hit the 6 month mark in the dead of the incredibly dark and rainy winters. Working around daily nap schedules, especially with two in tow, sometimes meant weeks on end when I felt like I hardly left the house. 

It looked a little something like this: morning nap for baby commenced at 9am, and ended somewhere between 10 and 10:30am. Afternoon nap for baby was at 12:30pm, followed by toddler from 1:30pm to about 3:30pm. Baby was awake by 2pm, usually needing a final catnap at 4pm. You get the idea. It was lonely and isolating, to say the least.

But there is hardly a time when it is more beneficial to keep a consistent sleep/wake schedule round the clock, and I told myself that if I put the time in at this crucial stage, it would pay off down the road. Here’s why:

“This schedule stuff is far too restrictive.” Trust me, I know how you feel if you are longing to break the confines of a prescriptive sleep schedule. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and having had two summer babies, both of my kids hit the 6 month mark in the dead of the incredibly dark and rainy winters. Working around daily nap schedules, especially with two in tow, sometimes meant weeks on end when I felt like I hardly left the house. 

It looked a little something like this: morning nap for baby commenced at 9am, and ended somewhere between 10 and 10:30am. Afternoon nap for baby was at 12:30pm, followed by toddler from 1:30pm to about 3:30pm. Baby was awake by 2pm, usually needing a final catnap at 4pm. You get the idea. It was lonely and isolating, to say the least.

But there is hardly a time when it is more beneficial to keep a consistent sleep/wake schedule round the clock, and I told myself that if I put the time in at this crucial stage, it would pay off down the road. Here’s why:

The time between 6 and 18 months of age is perhaps the most noticeable period of change that you will see in your little – he will start out a baby and end a toddler. Obviously with this change comes vast leaps in both physical development (from sitting to crawling to standing to walking and everything in between, not to mention the growth associated with the introduction of solid foods) and cognitive development (object permanence sets in, understanding of cause and effect and the relationship between events, and the emergence of basic language).

In fact, 5 of the 10 mental “leaps” classified by Dr. Frans Plooij in his bestselling boook, The Wonder Weeks, occur in this window of time. And all this growing is exhausting to a little brain and body. 

Sleep is restorative in so many forms and essential for wakeful attention and processing of complex environmental stimuli. Sleep (and particularly daytime sleep) is also positively associated with memory, language, executive function, and overall cognitive development, as well as physical growth in 10 to 18 month olds. It primes baby to tolerate such massive changes in his day to day life. The short of it? The body needs rest in order to grow, more so now than ever.

This is also a time of noticeable sleep consolidation – this usually looks like longer bouts of sleep at night (hallelujah!) and 3 to 2 to maybe even 1 nap transitions. A sure-fire way to disrupt these precious consolidated sleep durations? Short, unregulated catnaps.

Now that nodding off on the car ride home or during a long walk can destroy the nice, long, restorative sleep your baby requires for all that growing I mentioned above. This is because short little sleep bouts can “knock off” some of the sleep debt that has accrued while being awake, but without filling the restoration reservoir up entirely.

Imagine a cup that when empty signals to the brain that it is time to sleep. During sleep the cup begins to fill and a nice full cup is primed to interact with the waking world. Catnaps fill the cup just a little so that your baby no longer feels tired; but his reservoir has not been replenished to its full capacity. Long, restorative sleep bouts are needed to ensure that your baby is best equipped to engage with his increasingly dynamic environment.

This is also a time of noticeable sleep consolidation – this usually looks like longer bouts of sleep at night (hallelujah!) and 3 to 2 to maybe even 1 nap transitions. A sure-fire way to disrupt these precious consolidated sleep durations? Short, unregulated catnaps.

Now that nodding off on the car ride home or during a long walk can destroy the nice, long, restorative sleep your baby requires for all that growing I mentioned above. This is because short little sleep bouts can “knock off” some of the sleep debt that has accrued while being awake, but without filling the restoration reservoir up entirely.

Imagine a cup that when empty signals to the brain that it is time to sleep. During sleep the cup begins to fill and a nice full cup is primed to interact with the waking world. Catnaps fill the cup just a little so that your baby no longer feels tired; but his reservoir has not been replenished to its full capacity. Long, restorative sleep bouts are needed to ensure that your baby is best equipped to engage with his increasingly dynamic environment.

The body thrives when internal systems are properly aligned.

For the first few months of life, babies simply sleep when they are tired. The drive to sleep is so strong that it can be near impossible to keep your baby awake when she is ready to snooze. But by 6 months of age, your baby is becoming more and more attuned to her surroundings and the drive to sleep may be countered by the strong desire to stay awake.

The world has become a far too interesting place. At the same time, her intrinsic circadian clock is becoming increasingly regulated - light/dark and other environmental cues provide a timestamp for when sleep should occur.

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Setting the stage for optimal sleep involves aligning these two sleep initiating systems – i.e., getting to a point where baby feels tired at the same times each day.

And predictable schedules are essential to this alignment. Not only do they provide the foundation for the syncing up of sleep control mechanisms, but sleep schedules also help to regulate other important body clocks, like when it’s time to eat, or the ebbs and flow of body temperature and blood pressure.

So while this period no doubt can feel remarkably restrictive, the work being done internally is oh-so-rewarding for your babe. And once a routine is established, you may revel in the freedom it provides.

With predictability comes flexibility.

I realize this sounds like a bit of an oxymoron.

I have heard so many parents argue that they don’t want to introduce set schedules for their littles because they want to enjoy all the flexibility of a sleep-on-the-go-whenever-wherever baby (heck, I was one of them!). 

Well this may work for a lucky few. But for the vast majority of babies, unpredictability leads to misalignment in body clocks and sleep drives, and consequences for sleep and wake behaviour alike. And you’ll find yourself fighting an uphill battle when encountering any sleep roadblock (development, travel, transitions, anxieties). 

Instead, I argue that if you can establish set schedules now (sleep/wake times that fall within approximately 30 minute windows day to day), and ensure that her body systems are in happy agreement, you will open the door to more flexibility down the road. This is because your baby will come to expect sleep at the same times each day, no matter where she is or who she is with. Internally, her sleep control mechanisms will be aligned, and externally, the predictability will offer comfort and security in an ever changing world. 

At the same time, a well rested baby is much better equipped to cope with the odd scheduling hiccup – travel for instance, or during the dreaded daylight savings adjustments. If her sleep reservoir is full, disruptions are so much less impactful than if she is already indebted. And as she grows into a toddler, the predictability of her sleep routine will enable her to quickly fall back into her norm following major life transitions – like potty training, starting school, or welcoming a new sibling to the mix.

In short, work from the inside-out. Use predictable schedules to align your baby’s internal sleep control systems, and meet these cues with sleep-positive associations and behaviour as he grows.

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